✐ The 10th Day...

So it's still "Christmas" in Sweden, only 4 days more to go. My toothache is still bothering me, not as bad as last week, didn't take any painkillers yesterday. But I feel Ihave an infection in my mouth and jawbone, the taste in my mouth is awful, can just imagine how bad the smell must be. And lucky me, getting a toothache during the 2 week Swedish "Christmas Celebration", when everything is closed. I have been able to cope with the pain, with 'over the counter painkillers', I really didn't want to go to the Dental Emergency Clinic and wait for, who knows, how many hours. 

The other problem is the cost, in Sweden they separate the mouth and teeth from the rest of the body, we have a public health inscurance, but it does NOT cover any dental problems!!! I guess the Swedish authorities doesn't know that the mouth and the rest of the body share the same bloodstream. In worst case you have to wait for the infection to spread to other parts of your body, then you can go to a hospital and have it taken care of unless the infection have spread to your heart and you suffer from a heart attack and die. Hm...guess that will be cheaper for the government. 

I just had to get that off my chest, what I really wanted to write about is that I have rearranged this blog and added a page "Isochronic Tones". That page is empty atm, but soon I'll write something. There are 2 pages where I have added (SL) to the title, it means it's Second Life related. 

Well that's all for now, have a "Happy Epiphany Day" *evil grin*

UPDATE (01-11-12)
The page "Isochronic Tones" have been updated.

UPDATE (03-13-13)
I've created a new blog for Second Life, the posts are still in this blog, but I have linked them to the Second Life Blog.If I ever get active in SL again ( which I doubt) I'll be writing there.

✐ "Happy" (?) "New Year" (?)

I find it difficult to wish everyone a "Happy New Year". Why?... Well first of all how do you define the word Happy, it's subjective, what's happy for me may not be happy for someone else. Second; nobody is happy all the time, life goes up and down. Without the downs, you wouldn't know that you are happy and vice versa. And then we have the "New Year", it's man made from the Gregorian Calender (I think), it's just a way for us humans to be able to make sense of time, more of a practical thing. Based on  the past, the moment and the future. I was going to say that the Universe have no time, that it's eternal, but then I googled on it, and found that it's much more complicated than that. Many different theories Philosophy of Time

I don't celebrate "The New Year", but others around me does and that is just a nuisance to me. The week before, fire crackers/works all the time with it's culmination at 12 on New Years Eve. So much noise, the time between Christmas and New Year's is the worst time of the year, I hate it. Yes I know, I'm the "Christmas/New Years Grinch". And on top of it all, Christmas isn't over yet, not in Sweden, here it's a 2 week "celebration" that ends after Epiphany Day (13th day after Jesus birth). In one of the worlds most secularised country!!!

Next Monday, everything will go back to "normal".

✐ About the new name of this blog

I'm having a really bad toothache, so I don't have much energy to write, but I wanted to explain why my blog have the new name and what it means. The easiest way is to show you a video on YouTube.



Information about the Pineal Gland
 "Dr. Rick Strassman, while conducting research on the psychedelic dimethyltryptamine (DMT) in the 1990s at the University of New Mexico, advanced the controversial hypothesis that a massive release of DMT from the pineal gland prior to death or near death was the cause of the near death experience (NDE) phenomenon. Several of his test subjects reported NDE-like audio or visual hallucinations. His explanation for this was the possible lack of panic involved in the clinical setting and possible dosage differences between those administered and those encountered in actual NDE cases.
Several subjects also reported contact with 'other beings', alien like, insectoid or reptilian in nature, in highly advanced technological environments where the subjects were 'carried,' 'probed,' 'tested,' 'manipulated,' 'dismembered,' 'taught,' 'loved,' and even 'raped' by these 'beings' (one could note the strong similarities of these bodily tests/invasions in other psychedelic experiences throughout time, outlined in Graham Hancock's "Supernatural". Basing his reasoning on his belief that all the enzymatic material needed to produce DMT is found in the pineal gland (see evidence in mammals), and moreover in substantially greater concentrations than in any other part of the body, Strassman has speculated that DMT is made in the pineal gland."

More information here:
@ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pineal_gland
@ The Pineal Gland is a Gateway

✐ Changes

I changed the name of the blog today, the name "Living in the Virtual World SL" is outdated. I don't spend much time there anymore, I guess I'm just bored and fed up with the virtual world and I've been a resident for almost 6 years, so maybe it's time to move on. I still have my land though, it's beautiful and a bit hard to give up. The short times I am logged in, I don't go anywhere, just hang around on my land, alone.With the 'Busy Mode Button' activated, I have no energy to talk or meet people and the few times I've been out partying the 1-2 past months, I've been aloof, just listening to the music and watching my avatar dance, not much "perving", not participating in the local chat or answering if a stranger IM's me.

I'm fed up with the social life in SL, the local chats are mostly spammed with gestures, like "Hooooo", "Tune", "Awesome", etc. Not to talk about the annoying hosts/hostesses repeatedly gestures, often in a "Gesture Hud; "Party on", "Tip the DJ", etc and all the "Welcomes" from a gesture hud, so impersonal and annoying. I don't tip them anymore, why should I, they're just a nuisance to me. Same with the DJ's, if I don't like the music, no tips. I do give "Linden Love" (lol) when the host/hostess are personal and are able to carry on a conversation, or at least trying to and when I like the music the DJ plays.

Second life have changed a lot since I joined, now it's more like a reflection of the real world. A virtual world for the owners (Linden Lab) and the merchants, based on commerce. The changes that have occured over the past year and upcoming ones, are just made so the residents have to or want to consume more. Mesh is a great example of that, it means you have to buy everything you already have, but in mesh. Linden Lab have also announced that they will change the server based code, so you can't log in with older viewers anymore, well you can, but all other avatars will be gray. All these changes also means you need a powerful computer, if you don't have that, you have to buy a new one.

But the most crazy thing about the commerce in Second Life, the items you buy are NOT real, it's all virtual. If the servers or databases crashes, you have nothing. I've spent quite a lot of real money during my  years in Second Life, I don't regret it, at the time I had fun there. But now when I'll leave, it will be all gone. The only real money I spend in SL now is the rent for my land, don't know for how much longer though. Yes, it is beautiful, but it's not real, it's just a piece of a server, located in San Fransisco, that I have decorated. I'm looking at Second Life from the outside now, but I still have a toe attached. I mean it's been such a huge part of my life for 6 years, so it's kind of a process to totally let go.

✐ This is the End my Friend

I'm losing my interest in Second life, the time I spend there get's less and less. When I'm logged in I usually don't go anywhere, only once in awhile. I mostly stay on my land alone with the 'Busy Mode Button' activated, sitting on a tree trunk on the roof of my house, listening to nature sounds and meditation music.

Then we have all the changes Linden Lab have introduced during the year; new ugly viewers, new TPV rules, mesh, pathfinding, etc. I feel that SL more and more is becoming close to the real world, where they come up with ideas that forces us to consume more. Take 'mesh' for an example, only visible in viewers that are based on V2 code and the plan is to close server access for V1 coded viewers, like Phoenix (my favorite viewer). Anyway, why introducing 'mesh'? For us users it means we have to buy everything we already have, but in mesh. A clever idea of Linden Lab and the merchants to make more money.

After 5 years and 9 months, this fat lady is starting to warm up her voice, prepaired to sing her last song. And that will be when Linden Lab close the access for V1 based coded viewers, when I can't log in with Phoenix anymore.

(Friday, 9 March 2012)
Interview with Oz Linden | Treet TV 


(Saturday, 17 December 2011)
Rockcliffe University hosted a Q and A session with Jessica Lyon and Nigma Sterling. 

It's all about making:

$ Profit $

The end of Phoenix

Well, Good Luck, Linden Lab, but this time I think you have gone to far. Yes I know you own the platform but with really pissed off residents, that probably will leave, specially we "oldies", the ones with the credit cards and the money, and not the teenies or newbies., I predict that Second Life will be an old memory, not so far away. You're trying to make SL into an online game that you think will attract new ("willing to spend $$") residents. Here's the truth, at least for many of us, Second Life have been a Virtual World, where we can meet people from all over the world, having fun, dancing, chatting, music, etc. And NOT a game. You couldn't handle that the TPV developers managed to make a better viewer than your own, did you?! And do you really think that you can "make it" in the competition of really awesome online games, with years of development behind them, I don't think so.

Well, a bunch of credits and "Thank You's" to the Phoenix/Firestorm team, and other TPV developers, for their voluntary and hard work to make viewers that the resiedents really likes. And a special 'Thank you' to Jessica Lyon, who have worked so hard (and still is), being like the spider in the net, cordinating everything, keeping us informed about Linden Labs plans for the future, besides being a part of a team that makes the best viewers in Second Life. Thank You Jessica!

Later: (12-18-2012)
After half a bottle of vodka, clubbing in SL is so boooring. The good old clubs have closed :-( What's left and the few new ones, are just a big YAWN. Sure there are a few exceptions, still some good DJ's left. Well I'm gonna finish my vodkadrink ( 7 PM CET/ 11 AM SLT) and go to sleep. I'm bored to death and very sleepy. Don't think I will miss SL when the "big changes" on the server side is implemented and Phoenix becomes "unusable". Unless I just stay on my land and don't see anyone, the coming of  the "Gray Ones". Wonder if my own avatar will "bake" properly....hm?!

✐ WEB PROFILES

I really dislike the web profiles with the Following Option. I haven't found a way to prevent people from Following/Stalking me. If I don't want to be somebody's friend there is a reason for it, now they can Follow me on my web profile. I'm not Following anyone, I have former friends and the Calling Cards to look at if I'm interested to see what they're upto. Well I have two former friends that have decided to STALK my web profile, and all I can say, get a life!!!

NEXT DAY
I have found a way to block unwanted Followers/Stalkers from reading my web profile. Go to Settings, then Privacy. There you can choose who you want to share your Web Profile with, I have selected, "Friends" from the 'drop down menu' on almost everything, so now it's only available to my FRIENDS. This only affects the Web Profile, in-world you can still see the profiles, unless you use the latest LL Viewer, then you can NOT see "in-world profiles", only Web Profiles. Also your ex friends Calling Cards are still in your inventory, unless you deleted them. (By the way, I'm using Phoenix as my viewer.)

But the 3 UNWANTED Followers/Stalkers I have, there is no way to get rid off them. Sloppy job Linden Lab. No warning about that my "In-World" Profile have been published on the web, and the privacy settings needs some tweaking. There should be a way to remove Followers! I din't want Web Profiles in the first place, I don't even have Facebook, what I do in SL should stay there, not be published on the web for all to see. Also the Privacy settings should be set to PRIVATE as default, many people don't even know that their Picks and Groups are available for anyone to see.

Apparently this is a BUG, I posted a Topic about it on the SL Forum and got this answer:

"It is probably a bug and not so much your former friends that actually started following you by clicking a button, I have had the same when cleaning up my friendslist - 6 ppl I removed immediately appeared on my 'followers'list. They are probably unaware of that themselves.
More ppl have reported this in several feedback posts, so I hope this gets solved soon! It's a bit odd indeed!"

Source: SL Forum

UPDATE 02/01/12
Now there is a Remove Button to delete unwanted followers. Thanks Linden Staff :-)

☠ The Dark Year - 2011 ☠

Model/photographer: Voff Uggla

✐ Rest In Peace - My beloved birds

Well now it seems like my female is dying, found her 3 mornings in a row on the same place where I found the male dead. She ate a little bit yesterday, but is not able to perch, falls down on the cage bottom. She's so weak, she have a hard time, sitting on my shoulder, but she insists, she want to be close to me. Last night I wrapped her loosely in a soft towel and took her to bed with me, we slept together all night. She is on my shoulder atm, but haven't eaten or drank any water yet, it breaks my heart seeing her this sick and weak. Of course I'm hoping she will pull trhough, but watching her closely yesterday and today, I just know she is dying, the wait for her last breath is killing me. I don't know if she's in pain or suffering. My life SUCKS at the moment.

My female cockatiel (age 16 years) passed away at, 14:30 pm CET - March 18, 2011. R.I.P

She was fine the first 4 weeks after the male passed away, but week 5 something changed, she started to give up. She passed away while I was holding her in my hands, felt and heard her last breath, feeling the life in her body vanish. Now both of them are gone and my appartment feels very empty and I feel very lonely in my grief. There is no Delete Button to "The Bad Memories Folder" in my brain, only the passing of time will make the memories slowly fade away.
---

✐ UPDATE

My RL life have changed completly since my male cockatiel died 5 weeks ago, his female partner of 15 years is still in life. She does not like to be alone in the cage, she's clinging to me desperetly, want's to sit on my shoulder ALL the time, around 8 hrs a day. The first weeks, she ate her seeds and drank some water before she called on me, now as soon she want's me to uncover her cage, she doesn't care about the fresh seeds and water in her bowls, all she wants is to sit on my shoulder.

It's almost like having an infant, I have to give her all my attention the 8 hours she wants to be "awake". That means running back and forward to her cage when she wants to eat or drink. Every attempt to try to take her off my shoulder is met by a very upset protest from her, I mean I do need to use the bathroom sometimes or do some household shores. Which means I have to move my shoulders and arms, then she mostly falls off my shoulder, (she can't fly, her "flying wings" stopped growing many years ago). So this new situation will take some time to get used to.

UPDATE (03/18/11) Well now it seems like my female is dying, found her 3 mornings in a row on the same place where I found the male dead. She ate a little bit yesterday, but is not able to perch, falls down on the cage bottom. She's so weak, she have a hard time, sitting on my shoulder, but she insists, she want to be close to me. Last night I wrapped her loosely in a soft towel and took her to bed with me, we slept together all night. She is on my shoulder atm, but haven't eaten or drank any water yet, it breaks my heart seeing her this sick and weak. Of course I'm hoping she will pull trhough, but watching her closely yesterday and today, I just know she is dying, the wait for her last breath is killing me. I don't know if she's in pain or suffering. My life SUCKS at the moment.

My female cockatiel (age 16) passed away at, 14:30 pm CET - March 18, 2011. R.I.P

✐ MY QUEEN - MY MISTRESS

Everytime you call I come running to you to see what you want. In the mornings you call on me to uncover the cage, then you want fresh seeds and water in your bowls, and I serve you. After your meal you demand that I come again, now you want to sit on my shoulder, sitting there polishing your feathers or just resting, a squeek from you, means you want me to scratch your head and I obey. Then you refuse to leave my shoulder, even if I have to go to the bathroom, your little feet are like glued onto my shoulder. Later on, in the afternoon, it starts with a squeek, if I don't pay attention, you start screaming, then I know you demand that I put you back into the cage and cover it, cause now you want to have your privacy, and I obey, I do everything for you, my beloved "bird queen/mistress". <3
---

✐ VALENTINE'S DAY - 2011

Short Photo Video Here

- STYLE CARD -
Gown: + ezura + Twilight Gown Set
Cuffs: + ezura + Lolita Crown *Red Cuffs
Gloves: + ezura + Rebellion Zipper Leather Gloves *Red
Shoes: + ezura + Lolita Pumps, red
Hat: Jealous rage Valentines Day Tophat 2011
Neckpiece: MP Red Rum  Lace Neck  Adorn
Hair: Amacci Hair Talia ~ Black Coal
Skin: 02b  Paper Skin -Trinity- / deepRed (hairbase) *REDGRAVE*

This year I "celebrated" Valentine alone, last year with my ex-partner, as far as I remember we argued all night.

Happy Valentine!

 ---

✐ ~ REST IN PEACE ~

~ R.I.P my beloved bird ~

 

This morning I found my male cockatiel dead at the bottom of the cage. Born 1997 - Dead 2011, Ferbruary 8, the day after my RL birthday, it was really a chock for me to find him laying there lifeless, dead.

 ☹ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ☹

 

Now almost 4 weeks later the 'memory images' still haunts me, I still have my female cockatiel, I give her all the attention she wants, I mean her partner of 15 years is gone, she wants to be me with all the time now, her little feet almost glued on to my shoulder, so she's fine. I envy her, she doesn't have the brain capabilty to save 'memory images', she lives here and now, I wish I could do that too. Where is the Delete button to the "Bad Memory Folder" in my brain?!

R.I.P ✝

---

✐ THE EZURA & EVANE FASHION SHOW

I have edited the video clips from the "Ezura and AQ face tattoos" Show, from. November 20 - 2010. My very first recordings in SL that I have put together in this video: 
EZURA & EVANE FASHION SHOW

Models: Salvo Waydelich and Mimmi Boa

Co owners of Evane Models Agency

✐ MAKE SURE YOU CAN USE THE ITEMS BEFORE BUYING THEM

NO HAIR, NO ACCESSORIES, NO SHOES...

  JEANS & BOOTS

My misstake, I should have looked before buying them. I prefer to wear boots, so since they are no modify and no copy, BUT transfer, just contact me and I will transfer them to you. Otherwise they will end up in my trash bin.

✐ ♛ MISS VIRTUAL TRASH 2010 ♛

I was crowned as ♛ MISS VIRTUAL TRASH 2010 ♛, December 20 - 2010. My best acheivement so far and I'm so happy about it, so proud. :-) So many people to thank, for being there and supporting me in the most important moment in my life. XD

Video on YouTube 

Disclaimer:
This is just me making a satire of all the "Beauty Contests" in Second Life, and not directed to any particular person or establishment. I'm pondering over why we humans have this need to compete all the time, is it in our genes or the enviroment, or maybe a combination of the both...? I mean the "happiness" you feel when you win something is so momentary, after awhile you want to win something bigger, you want more and more. The cup is always half empty...